When was the last time you felt truly understood? When was the last time you felt deeply connected? When was the last time 200% of your attention was simply with one person, here and now?
In many ways, our modern Western society is constructed that it diametrically opposes crucial elements of our own human nature. The values and expectations that are being forced on people, contradict innate needs we have as a human being. The ever increasing focus on self, from constant “competition” to always “independent”, is our downfall and in first place to us as an individual, o the irony. We need to do more and we must do it all alone. We break away ourselves to only the cognitive. We narrowly limit “success” to what is quantifiable and have that definition rule -and often ruin- the world, as well as our lives. What is health? What is mental and emotional health?
For a few years now, i’ve been giving workshops and trainings in well‑being. Particularly “validation” (90 minutes workshop) seems to be in high demand and always yields powerful impact. The idea behind it is fostering understanding and connection, not so much by words but through a creative process. People seem to be “hungry” for this, as well as grateful to be given the time and space where this is possible, encouraged. It’s incredibly beautiful and touching to experience participants finding their deep self, together with another person and together developing / increasing a bond.
People are yearning to be truly heard and seen, as a full person, flaws and insecurities included. And to be completely accepted as such. Presence is such a powerful gift, especially in this fast‑paced multi‑tasking world. Time itself, undivided and unfractured, is a most precious thing, for ourselves and for others. Imagine someone being here and now with you, simply to enjoy and connect with you, to in detail understand you and your life. Imagine someone with whom you forget about all the hurrying and obligations, replacing those with kindness and empathy, a mutual and sincere warmth. Out of all things, and out of all people, choosing for a while to share presence with only one person is a beautiful act.
People are longing to share their raw self, unaltered and unmasked, without pretending. To feel someone cares to know them as such. Vulnerability is a powerful gift too, especially in this superficial self‑centered world. To be truly heard and seen, a requirement naturally is a willingness on our own behalf to open up. But more than that, it’s also an incredible sign of trust and appreciation towards the other person, to allow them to discover and understand your deep self. Remember the last time someone told you something very personal, not just the information, but also the feeling you got from their hold act of choosing to share their vulnerability with you.
If you can share silence, you can share anything. I’ve been having this wonderful experience of being together in silence with someone, without it feeling awkward or needing to say something, anything, quick. We’ve been enjoying longer silences, apparently fulfilling an unspoken need, while feeling even more connected and understood by one another. This is presence and vulnerability, profoundly, settling in. This is a connection growing deeper and stronger, holding and sharing a great power.
Intrigued as i was and inquisitive by nature, i started pondering. I soon realised that the shared silence gave me quietness in my heart, inner peace. This i had craved for ages, now, without trying, it has found me. And it’s pure bliss. My experience so far is the base, the beginning of this, dreamer as i am. Yet it feels like a seed has been planted and i’m looking forward to nurture it, to experience its growth, possibly even more amazing than i can now imagine and describe.
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This is my story of power, in relation to other people. And i sincerely wish you’ll experience something similar.